UR TV CAST

That makes three big-time sports stadiums within walking distance of the city centre. Impossible not to think of Wembley: inaccessible even if it was built. Mind you, in external appearance the new stadium will still be a concrete monstrosity.England are being hammered but Mark Butcher earns due praise for reprieving Waugh when he refuses to claim a slip catch. Twice he says that he cannot be sure and the television replay, as ever, is inconclusive.Maybe Butcher has been for a walk nearby. In Melbourne Park is sited the statue commemorating a great event at the MCG in 1956. In the Australian One Mile Championship, Ron Clark slipped and fell.

The race leader, John Landy, stopped, helped him to his feet and ensured he was all right before continuing Landy went on to win. The incident still sends tingles down the spine of Australian sports fans.FridayEngland continue to get hammered. Almost routinely so on a routine day which suddenly explodes in the evening. Hussain stands his ground after Jason Gillespie takes what looks a regulation catch at mid-off. Doubtless he correctly calculated that television would give him the benefit.The Barmy Army bait Brett Lee, calling every delivery “no ball” after television threw doubt on his action. Funny how cameras can be certain about the legitimacy of a man’s action and thus threaten his career while simultaneously being useless in judging whether a catch carried.The double centurion Justin Langer says the BA are disgraceful, had probably been drinking all day and were 50 kilogrammes overweight. He deserves to be reminded of that the next time the Australians call Murali a chucker.SaturdayThe BA have been reading Langer’s words and immediately begin chanting: “We’re so fat it’s unbelievable.” Lee says before play that he doesn’t mind the singing, but why, he wonders, are none of them in tune?In a squeaky voice, the BA also say, “Gee whiz, Justin”, apeing one of his favourite phrases.

The Australians respond by doing their warm-up exercises directly in front of the Army, thus shutting them up. Oh, blessed relief.Hussain stands looking aggrieved when he is given out caught behind Which takes some cheek Can’t have seen the Landy-Clarke statue England are getting hammered.. Strange events ambushed interesting cricket moments in the lead-up to this Boxing Day Test, but that’s not surprising, because the festive season down under is also known as the “silly season”. But Sri Lanka, regarded by some as the pioneers of the one-day opening batting blitz, batted as if they were in a timeless Test. England whacked them but were not accorded giant-killer status; it was “those poor little Sri Lankans”. Perhaps Sanath Jayasuriya’s boys are lying doggo before the World Cup.On the other hand, Australia appeared to be in full battle mode. In Perth, Brett Lee bowled a ball timed at 156.2kph, the fastest ever recorded by television’s speed gun.