UR TV CAST

Now, on most 53-year-old women, such a get up would look potty, if not wholly sad, but the thing about Lulu is that age just doesn’t seem to have happened to her Age has passed her by. Age looked at Lulu’s unlikely hips and Chupa Chups head and thought: “Nah, can’t be arsed. I’ll go bash Mick Jagger around some more instead.” Lulu is an iconic miracle. Lulu is, practically, a wrinkle-free zone with a spookily untroubled forehead.. hang on, Lulu Have you had Botox?”Of course Hasn’t everybody?”"No way.

Just the thought of that needle coming towards my forehead…”"It is frightening at first, but you get used to it.”"I could never do it.”"You don’t need to,” she says.If I were sensible, I would have left it there But instead, I do a frown for her It’s not even my biggest frown “Oh, you do have lines,” she says Bitch. And, on this occasion, I don’t mean that evil Bonnie thing.No, this is unfair Lulu is not bitchy Lulu is warm, happy, almost motherly The (Filipina?) housekeeper brings us tea “Drink up, honey,” says Lulu “Or it’ll get cold. Biscuit?” Actually, now I think about it, Lulu is not so much motherly, more like one of your mum’s friends. Indeed, I even have this fear that, at any moment, she’s going to ask me how my A-levels are going, which is ludicrous, I know, what with my post, post A-level frown lines and crow’s feet that are, perhaps, considerably more ostrich than crow. Whatever, we are in her living room now, with its faux mink throws, coffee-table books (on Venice, on Paris), framed picture of Elton and the corner given over to Hindu artefacts and a photograph of her yoga guru, Mishimishimoomoo, or whatever she is called, and with whom she’s “been studying since 1984″. One of Lulu’s favourite books of all time, by the way, is The Celestine Prophecy, which I think says quite a lot about a person although, as I’ve never read the book, I can’t say exactly what. I ask Lulu what little Marie McDonald McLaughlin Lawrie from that Glasgow tenement (which, of course, is who Lulu was before she became Lulu) would have made of this house “She’d have thought it was a mansion,” says Lulu.

“Behind a wall and everything!”There is also a box in here, containing the new boots Lulu’s stylist has also picked out They are very gorgeous, black and pointy. “They’re great,” I say, affecting to be a chi-chi boot lover, which is wise when your interviewee is “They are something, aren’t they?” she agrees happily Lulu has always had a weakness for footwear. When she was 15, and had just “Shout(ed)” to the top of the charts, but hadn’t yet “Boom Bang-A-Bang(ed)”, she said: “I get £10 a week pocket money I get through about £5 a week on taxis alone. They’re terribly expensive in London, but I don’t know my way about well enough to take buses and the only time I went on the tube by myself I got lost… shoes are my weakness, I’ve got eight pairs going at the moment plus two that have just about had it.” This comes from a 1964 interview with her, which I read out We agree it’s very sweet. How many shoes do you have now, though, Lulu? “I couldn’t possibly tell you.